Couples Riding

Posted: 14th November 2011 by LadyBikerTravel in Uncategorized
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So, I’ve been writing a lot about wanting to learn how to ride places on my own without needing someone to ride with me. I have to be honest and admit there were two reasons for my mild rants. One was that I truly do want to learn to be comfortable riding by myself. I want to learn how to choose routes that will get me there in the safest but also most fulfilling way. I like scenic rides; I like to see new, different things; I like things that are off the beaten track. But I also like safe roads and being able to get gasoline regularly.

I also want to be comfortable camping on my own. I travel all the time for work and am very used to being on my own in strange towns, strange hotels. That doesn’t bother me a bit. But pitching a tent (which I certainly know how to do) and actually staying in it alone overnight is more daunting. I still haven’t done that – not because I’m afraid, but because it hasn’t worked out. It will sometime and in the meantime, I’ve had plenty of awesome day rides on my own that have been very fulfilling and loads of fun.

The other reason the topic has come up so often in my blogs is, I’m ashamed to say, because I was making not-so-veiled references to my relationship life. I’m with a guy I love without reservation, with all my heart; we share just about everything – not in a clingy way but out of shared interests and passions. We both love to ride and some of our best times are spent riding together. We have a business together and, while I continue to work full-time at my regular job, Tim puts in countless hours working on the business – especially his life coaching work, including writing books, training courses, and a daily blog.

But even with all that togetherness and commitment inherent in the legal relationship through our business, I kept bringing up wanting to function alone on the bike because it seemed to me that our partnership would always be a step shy of what I hoped for. I’m a chick; I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what I was longing for.

Well, last week, we took a trip to Milwaukee to visit the Harley-Davidson Museum. I wanted to get an additional ten passport stamps in my quest to win a new Harley. Now, I know that sounds like a pretty frivolous trip but it’s not as bad as it sounds. I had to take a business trip to the area; we had a free airline ticket available for Tim, as well as a free hotel stay so there weren’t any added costs for the travel. Add to that two tickets for free entry into the museum that some friends gave us and it cost no more than a nice night out on the town.

The museum was fantastic and I’ll plan to do a blog about it later but it was completely overshadowed by Tim working out the perfect marriage proposal. As it happens, we were traveling with a stuffed dog named Dot, who is the mascot for our Harley group. Each week at our dinner ride, there is a 50-50 drawing and the first winner gets to take Dot for the week. While we didn’t win her, the man who won her had actually had her the week before and, knowing we were going to the Harley museum, he gave her to us to take.

There is a pink bike at the museum which is also named Dot, after the woman who rode her for many years. So we were having our picture taken in front of Dot while holding Dot. Tim kept asking the girl who was taking the picture to “take a picture of this…and this…and NOW take a picture of this!” That’s when he got down on his knee to propose to me. Very well done! I said “yes”, of course!

I promise not to gush on and on about how wonderful my guy is and how very happy I am that he actually DOES want to marry me after almost three years of me thinking he was just waiting until he found the right one…who apparently wasn’t me. On one level, of course, I knew better but always had nagging thoughts that maybe I was wrong. Well, that’s all settled now and I’m truly, truly overjoyed at what’s to come.

So where does this leave me as an independent Lady Biker? Exactly where I was before. I will still take trips on my own and I will still look forward to expanding my comfort zone when it comes to ride planning and taking overnight rides alone. And I’m guessing that the vast majority of my pleasure riding will continue to be with Tim as my road captain, leading the way and looking out for me in his rearview all the time. It really is perfect riding.

Have I in some way betrayed my purpose with this blog by being so happy not to be alone? I don’t think so. I’m still a woman who can make her own decisions and is happy to have the means to travel independently. But I was never someone who relished being single. Perhaps as a result of my upbringing or some other internal wiring, I’m much happier with a home base that includes not just my wonderful family, but my growing family – my soon-to-be stepdaughter and my I-can’t-wait-to-be husband. Hmm. I like that word. Husband, husband, husband. Nice.

So my blog will still be devoted to riding as a woman – with a group, alone, and as a couple. Nothing different there. Just a bigger smile on my face. Now you know why!

Until next time, wheels down and eyes up. Enjoy your ride.

  1. Gretchen says:

    What a beautiful story Gwynne! You are an inspiration to all women to keep or find their independence and keeping sight of who they are; daughter, mother, sister, friend, wife….and most importantly keeping sight of themselves intermingled with everything else and not losing the real self. You are a dear friend and I couldn’t be happier for you and Tim! Congrats!

  2. My first real long ride was from Denver to New York after I got home from over seas with the military. I took a bunch of short jaunts but never a trek. I learned so much about riding in those 5 days. In the end, I am lucky to have survived that ride and would not reccomend taking such a journey without experience but for me it was just what the doctor ordered. Thanks for the posts and positive nature. Cheers!